2017 has been the best year of my entire life. It has also been the worst year of my entire life. I know that might not make sense, really, but if you know half of what I’ve been through this year, then you understand.
In February, my husband left for Basic Military Training for the United States Air Force. It was really rough on me because about a week after he left, I had a hunch that I was pregnant. The middle of March, I found out that it was true. I was pregnant with a precious little Baby McComas. I hated that Matt was away and had to miss the whole first half of the pregnancy, but I knew that everything was going to be okay. I told him through a letter about being pregnant. Then, he got a phone call about a week after he got the letter. He told me how happy he was about our tiny human. Then, I got his letter talking about how excited he was.
In April, I got to fly to Texas to see Matt graduate from BMT. I was so happy to see him after being apart for so long. We were so happy and full of joy to finally be together again. I still remember us laying down to take a nap and him rubbing my belly and talking to our little baby. It made my heart so happy. I was there for a span of four days, and when the time came to go home, it was awful. I cried the entire way back to the hotel. Saying goodbye to him AGAIN was absolutely terrible. But, I knew that I would get to see him again soon.
The end of May and into the first week of June, I got to see my husband again. My pregnant belly was starting to show at that point, so that was cool. He got to give my belly kisses and rub it and talk to it. We didn’t know yet if Baby McComas was a boy or a girl. (We had our fingers crossed for a girl though. ;)) It was a great week getting to be together again, but there was just a different feeling in the atmosphere this time when we said goodbye. I was extremely emotional, and he was sad too, but something still just felt different.
Then, July came along. The month of Matt’s return and my baby shower. Little did I know, that those two things were gonna be on the same day. He surprised me and came home in time to be at the baby shower. Running into his arms and hugging and kissing him was the best feeling in the entire world. It was one of my absolute favorite memories of 2017. The joy that we both felt was so real and genuine. A couple of days after that, we went to my OBGYN and found out that we were going to be having a little baby girl!!!! We were so very excited and happy!!!! Arial Rose McComas was the name that we had picked out together on our first Valentine’s Day together. So, that’s the name that we stuck with. The day we found out the gender is also the day that he got to hear her adorable little fast heartbeat for the first time. It was such a surreal moment for the both of us.
As July progressed, things started to change. I could tell that Matt wasn’t really very happy, but we were trying to work things out and make every moment good. Then, at the end of July, we embarked on our journey to California. Leaving my home was one of the hardest things that I have ever done, but I loved my husband so much, that I did it anyways. Love is a sacrifice.
When we got there finally and got on our feet and found a place of our own to live, that’s when things really went downhill. In August, Matt approached me and told me that he wanted to talk. Little did I know, that conversation was going to change my life forever. He told me that he wanted to get a divorce. I thought for sure that I would be able to talk him out of it and earn his love back, but I sadly, was not able to do that. I couldn’t bear it. Living with someone you love wholeheartedly who doesn’t love you back is absolutely horrific. It’s like forgiving someone who isn’t sorry (which eventually I will also have to do). Besides being crazy and emotional anyways because of being pregnant, it literally flipped my world upside down and I cried and cried and cried because I just felt like my heart was ripped from my chest and ran over by a semi.
I was beginning to accept the divorce and learning to move on and be okay with the things that were going on. I really was. Matt and I were getting along fairly well, and learning to be friends.
Flash forward to November: when things reeeeally got crazy. On November 13th at 5:30 am, my water broke. I was so nervous and scared to death. I didn’t feel like I was ready or prepared for anything that was about to happen to me. 30 hours later, on November 14th at 11 am, Arial Rose McComas made her appearance into the world. It was the happiest (and most painful, hahaha) moment of my entire life. As soon as I got to hold her and look into her eyes, I fell in love. I had never felt such joy. I had never loved anyone or anything as much as I loved that little baby girl. I still cannot put into words how happy that she makes me. She is reason that I live and breathe.
As for the rest of November, I’d rather not even talk about it. I would actually erase it if I could. All except for the priceless and precious and amazing moments of being able to be a mommy the best little girl in the entire world. But, long story short, I am back home in Indiana now. Where I belong and where I need to be. Now, I’m not too fond of the arctic weather outside and neither is my daughter, but it’s okay. Haha.
While 2017 was so amazing because it gave me my daughter, I’m glad that it is over and that I get a fresh start in 2018. I’m going to make the best of my situation and live my life the best that I can. I am going to be the best mommy that I can be and give my girl the best life that she can possibly have. It’s going to be it with the old, and in with the new.
So, goodbye to 2017 and hello to 2018. I hope that everyone has a safe, blessed, and happy new year. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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