Happening All At Once (Part 1)

So much is happening... all at the same time. It feels as though the weight of everything on the planet decided to camp out on my shoulders. I appear to be staying calm and holding myself together well. But honestly... my mind is close to overload. My thoughts are jumping around; trying to solve everything all at once. Trying to make everything perfectly alright, even though that's not possible. I try to do it all on my won when I know that I can't.

If it wasn't for my best friend, I probably would've gone wacko by now. I'm praying my little heart out that he gets a job in New Castle or a surrounding area, so that when he graduates in December, we can settle into an apartment. Hopefully by then, I'll have a car. Money saved up from having a job. Enough to be able to survive. Groceries, rent, utilities, stuff for the apartment, phone bill, an actual working laptop, and enough to start saving for college and stuff next year. So, there's that part of my brain.

Another part of my brain is the part focusing on high school, homework, and graduation. A part of growing up that is just as stressful as the others. I want to graduate, so that should be motivation enough, right? Wrong! I feel so drained that I can't just sit down and focus on my work. I get distracted by simply the things on my mind.

But wait, there's more. Ever since I watched my senior slideshow (and sobbed like a baby afterwards), I have just been thinking a lot about my family, friends, and my past. It was like I watched my whole life flash before my eyes, and I kind of did. It hit me that I really am growing up. When I was little, everyone in my family got along, We did things together, gathered on holidays, and were all actually a family. But, something somewhere went wrong, and here we all are. Here and there. A broken family. I want to be able to fix it, but I know that I can't. All I can do is pray.

That is all I really feel like sharing right now. If I did though, this would be way too long. So, I guess, to be continued......

P.S. Sorry for how random and scattered this was. Lol.