To My Friend

Dear Friend,
You know who you are.

I'm sorry that I can't help you like I would like to.
I'm sorry that the help you need, I can't give you.
I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much.
I'm so sorry that you feel like there is no hope.

I pray for you every single day: the same prayer.
I ask God to let you know that He still loves you.
I always beg Him to show Himself to you in a drastic way.
I pray for you to get a desire to change: that God would just snap His fingers, and all of this will be over for you: but, I know it's not that easy.

I try to talk to you, and give you wise words.
I attempt to encourage you everyday: especially when you are struggling.
Yet, I feel like I don't do enough.
I feel like, I'm not giving it my all to try and stop you.
"There's gotta be something more that I can do," I think to myself.

It literally pains me to see you suffer: to know that you are so numb.
It brings me to tears every time you give in because I again couldn't stop you.

There are times when I blame myself because I don't feel like I'm being supportive enough.
I just want to hug you, and tell you that everything is going to be okay, but I can't do that: you live too far away.
 I guess that's why I literally text you all of the time: to tell myself that it's gonna distract you.
Too bad it doesn't always work that way.

I don't really know what else to say, except this:
Please forgive me for not being able to give you the help that you need.
For not always being there for you no matter how hard I try to be.
Please forgive me for always shoving Jesus down your throat: you've gotten enough of that your whole life.

I will end with this: I love you like a brother, and I don't know what I would do without you. You are my best friend, and the best one I could ever ask for.
Stay strong. The struggle will end soon, and redemption will have the victory.

Sincerely,
Jewell.

P.S. Thanks for being awesome.