The Spirit Of Fear

Ever since Prophet Leach talked to me on Sunday night about the spirit of fear, I have really been pondering it. Maybe even fighting it a little bit. Before that night, it had never hit me so hard that it’s a huge problem in my life. I sorta thought it was, but I just brushed it off. Now, though, I know that I am really struggling with it, and I need to work on it. I need to pray about it.  

As soon as Prophet Leach was done praying for me, I felt so happy. Kinda like I had finally broken the mold. I was 100% determined that the next night of revival would be the night I completely surrendered to God. Well, that didn't exactly happen. I felt the tug, but it didn't happen. I felt God telling me to respond when he made the altar call for it. But, it's almost like my shoes froze to the ground. I was stuck. Stuck in, of course, fear. 

Fear got in the way again. I let it. I didn't proclaim it gone, in Jesus’ name. I let it consume every bit of me. I was so frustrated with myself. Even though God had spoken peace over the place, I still let myself get frustrated. My youth pastor's wife even told me that it was okay. To not be frustrated. To take baby steps. But, I knew that God had called me to respond, but I didn't. So, therefore, I was super frustrated. 

This morning at the Fusion Prayer group at school, the lesson was about “The Peacekeeper.” He talked about… wait for it… the spirit of fear. This time, it hit me again. I sorta let out this laugh and whispered, “wow,” to myself. It’s crazy how God still tells me things in the most unlikely of ways. He helped me to realize that the spirit of fear isn't a problem that I can just ignore. It is something that I absolutely have to make better.

Going all in and fully surrendering to God isn't something that I need to be scared of. It is something that I need to embrace. To run towards. So, through Him I can get through this. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13).

Dear God,

I just wanna start off by thanking you. I thank you for showing this to me so that I can strive to better my relationship with you. God, I pray that you would help me to stop shutting down. That you’d guide me, God. I don’t wanna turn away or be scared of surrender anymore. I don’t wanna be disconnected anymore. I just want to live for you, and never turn back or be afraid. I love you, Jesus. Thank you.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.