Friday, March 6, 2015

Searching, Scared, & Sorry

I'm searching... 
Trying to find myself in of the wrong places. 
Running from where I need to be to where I thought I wanted to be. 
From a place of spiritual well being to a place that has me picking out my spiritual casket. 

I'm searching... 
Trying to find a way out. 
I find myself picking things back up that I had already laid at the feet of Jesus. 
Stuck in a whirlwind of defeat and guilt and sadness. 

I'm screaming... 
But no one can hear me. 
It's creating a wicked ringing that cannot be silenced. 
It's caused countless nights of no sleep. 

I'm scared... 
That I'm not gonna be able to find a way out of this one. 
I've pushed everyone away. 
And, I'm trapped. 
There seems to be no end in sight. 

I'm struggling... 
Trying to pretend that I'm okay. 
Trying to pretend that I'm the strong one. 
But, I'm far from both of those things. 
It's exhausting to pretend all of the time. 

I'm searching... 
But, I can't find God. 
He's no where in sight.
He's not listening to me. 
He's so disappointed in me. 

I'm sorry... 
I shouldn't have ran away. 
I shouldn't have turned my back on You. 
I shouldn't be mad at You. 
You died for me, and I'm not living for You. 

I'm sorry... 





No comments:

Post a Comment

The Life of a Stay At Home (Away From Home) Mom

  Hi there. It sure has been a while since I’ve had the motivation, inspiration, and the time to do some writing. Life is chaotic when you h...