I'm Ready

"I feel dead inside.
No. Something worse than death.
I am still a child. A child trying to find a place in this world.
I have so many unanswered questions.
Questions I feel but can't even begin to speak because there are no words to express them.
Something is missing." -October Baby
I couldn't have said it better myself.
I feel lost and confused and have doubt that's weighing down on my faith.
I want to change the life I'm living, but I'm scared to get out of my comfort zone.
I don't wanna do something about it because I'm afraid of getting hurt.
But, that's not gonna work anymore.
That fear is Satan attempting to convince me not to turn to Jesus.
The hesitation is my unwillingness to give up control of myself.
I'm so dead set on the way I live my life that I find it nearly impossible to live any other way.
I like to be comfortable; who doesn't?!
I need to make a change in my life.
I need to fight my fears.
I'm not gonna give in.
I'm strong enough.
I can do it.
It's going to be a process to say the least.
There are so many things in this world and on my walk with Jesus that are unknown to me.
But, I am ready; as ready as I'll ever be to learn those unknowns and to make those changes.
It may take a leap of faith or just a small baby step of faith.
Either way, it's going to happen.
It has to.
A wise man named Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."
It's time to take that first step.
I'm the only one that's holding me back.
God, I'm ready. Use me in ways you've never used me before. Show me your word in a way I've never read it before. Show me your love in a way I've never felt it before. I'm ready, God. Lead me.