Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Keep Hanging On


It’s a tough concept. A tough word to say or hear or think or even imagine. It’s real though. Very real. It happens: Suicide. Hard to wrap your mind around it. It breaks my heart that people think they have to commit suicide when they’re going through hardships in life. We think that what they’re going through is just a phase. That they’ll one day get over it. They may even think that about themselves. Until one day, things get worse. One little thing sets them off. One tiny button is pushed and it takes them to the thoughts that they can’t go on anymore. They feel defeated by hurt. They feel defeated by pain. They feel like no one cares for them anymore. So, they don’t think twice anymore. They don’t stop themselves this time. They do it.
“One bottle of pills and the pain will be gone.”
“One deep cut in the perfect spot and the hurt will go away.”
“One bullet is all it’s gonna take to finally be free.”
“One rope is all that I need to find peace.”
“One jump is all I need to get out of this madness.”
They don’t think of the toll it takes on their friends and loved ones. As far as they were concerned, no one cared about them. Was that not the whole problem?!
It makes you think, doesn’t it. It makes you want to show your family and friends just how much you truly care for them. It makes you think about what you say to people and how you say it. It makes you watch your actions a little closer. It makes you pray a little harder.
Some people blame God when it happens. They question Him as to why He didn’t stop them. Truth is though, maybe it’s you. Did you ever think that maybe God was trying to get your attention?! I bet not. Maybe He wants you to cry out to Him in this time of need. Maybe it’s His way of saying, “Hey you! Time and life is precious. Choose who you’re gonna start living it for.” Maybe it’s His way of telling you to share your faith a little more. Who’s to say that if you would’ve shared your faith with that certain person, then they wouldn’t have killed themselves?! Did you ever think of that?! It’s God. He’s trying to give us all a wake up call.
I read and hear stories about how often people commit suicide. It breaks my heart. Those people were crying out for help, and no one helped them. No one thought they’d actually do it. I can almost guarantee that the guilt turns on almost immediately for those people who realize that someone was crying out for their help.
Let me tell you this: I know what it’s like to feel alone. I know how it feels to be hurt. Pain sucks whether it’s physical or emotional.
Just know that you can get through whatever obstacles that life throws your way. With strength and with prayer and with faith through God, all things are possible.
And, if you need to talk to someone, don’t hesitate to seek a counselor or a mentor or anyone who’s willing to listen.
It’s okay to feel pain. It’s human. But, when it happens, always remember that God won’t give you anything that you can’t bear (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Stay strong.
Keep faith.
Always pray.
I love you and I care for you. I’m praying, too.
Just keep hanging on.

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide,
contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-
273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). 

Here's a little song to let you know that it's okay to feel worn. God is in control. You can make it. I promise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUEy8nZvpdM 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Battle In My Heart

I'm stuck.
The walls keep caving in on me.
The ceiling is crashing down on me.
The floor is falling apart beneath my feet.
Its too quiet.
Its too dark.
There are sharp temptations everywhere.
I can feel them.
I can feel how cold it is.
I can almost smell the depression in the air.
I must be dreaming.
But, it feels so real.
"Where am I?!"
I screamed out to the air.
...No answers except my echo...
I sit there in the overwhelming silence.
Still, expecting only another echo, I cry out again.
"Where am I?!"
...Echo...
Then, I felt a gust of cold air.
Then, a sudden wave of heat.
I blink.
When I opened my eyes, there stood Satan.
An evil looking grin on his face.
He turned on the light.
He goes, "Look! Look at all of these fun things around you."
I just stare, blankly.
He goes, "Check out this knife. Isn't it a beauty?"
I wince.
But, I take a second look.
I say, "Well maybe I'll just look at it."
He hands it to me, smiling.
It take it, scared.
Suddenly, God appeared.
Satan steps closer to me.
God says, "Leave my daughter alone."
I look back and forth between them.
Satan goes, "Why allow Him to call you His daughter when He's letting your world fall apart?"
"Where am I?!" I scream out again.
Satan goes, "We're in your heart. Where I've been warmly...Welcomed..."
God says, "No, Satan! You've taken control of my daughter's life, and I would like to have it back."
Satan tells me, "Look at the blade on that knife you're holding. I bet it will feel cool on your skin."
As I went to touch the blade to my skin, a loud clap of thunder shook the foundation of my heart.
I looked up and saw the battle that begun.
I dropped the blade in amazement. God noticed that.
He grabs the blade.
He stabs it into Satan.
Then, I felt free.
My heart turned white as snow again.
God stood there, VICTORIOUSLY.
Tears stream down my face as I run into His loving embrace.
He wraps me in His arms.
He says, "I love you, daughter. I'm not ever going to leave you. Your heart will forever belong to me."
I simply reply, "Thank You."
Then, I wake up.
It was a dream, but it actually happened inside of my heart.
God saved me.
He rescued me.
He calls me daughter.
I call Him, Daddy.
I pray.
I pray a prayer of gratitude.
God, I thank You.
You healed my broken heart.
You put the pieces back together.
I love You.

The Life of a Stay At Home (Away From Home) Mom

  Hi there. It sure has been a while since I’ve had the motivation, inspiration, and the time to do some writing. Life is chaotic when you h...