Forgive and Forget

It’s hard to forgive.

Even harder to forget.

Why can’t I do it?

God forgave me, a dirty sinner.

If He could forgive a person like me, why can’t I forgive people?

I make it difficult, that’s why.

I hang on to the past.

I dwell on what used to be.

I need to let go of it.

Let God handle it.

I need to forgive.

I need to forget.

But, I just can’t make myself do it.

I just can’t look forward to a better future.

I’m stuck in the p-a-s-t….

….When it’s just as easy to spell f-u-t-u-r-e.

I call myself a Christian, though.

And, Christians forgive, right?

Do they really, though?

Or, are they going through the motions kinda like I am?

That’s it!

I’m going through the motions.

That’s why I can’t forgive.

That’s why I can’t forget.

Maybe if I suck it up and just surrender it all to God, then I can actually be a follower of Christ.

I should stop being a hypocrite.

I need to just give it all up.

I need to just wake up!

Just a thought for myself, here.

If I start to forgive and forget, then maybe, just maybe….

….I can keep my focus on God.

Such a simple, yet complicated concept.

Forgive.

Forget.

Trust God. 

In Need Of A Change

I’m tired.

Tired of Satan messing with my mind to the point where I don’t wanna even live anymore.

I feel as though I’m just stuck.

I’m stuck in the world.

I want out.

Why can’t I get out?

I can’t handle it.

I just can’t.

I’m just about done.

I want to give up.

But……..there’s still a spark of hope…..

It’s there.

I’m reaching for it.

I am desperate for it.

I feel like I need to suck it up.

But, that’s not the case.

I need to surrender it up.

That is the issue here I’m thinking.

Just when God gets a grip on me, I fight Him.

Why can’t I stop fighting Him?!

Why can’t I wrap my stupid little human mind around the fact that I am feeling like I’m nothing because of the fact that I am fighting God?!

It’s only two people’s fault.

Mine.

And, Satan’s.

My fault for letting Satan in.

Satan’s fault for being an evil creature.

I can see God’s light in the distance.

But, it’s slowing fading.

I reach out.

I don’t want it to fade away anymore.

I want God.

I need God.

I’m tired of living a lie.

I’m tired of living for Satan.

I want to change.

I need to change.

Change is the only thing that can fix me right now.

GOD is the only thing that can.

I WILL make that change.

I will stop holding back.

God, please enter my heart.

God, please change me.

God, please, oh please….  have mercy on me.  

"I know these things will change. Can you feel it now?! Those walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down. It's a revolution. The time will come for us to finally win. And, we'll sing Hallelujah. Tonight we'll change, get on our knees. Fight what we worked for all these years. And, the battle was long it's the fight of our lives. But, we'll stand up. Champions tonight."

TONIGHT WILL BE THE NIGHT THAT THINGS WILL CHANGE IN MY LIFE............... !!!!