Just Let Go

I was so close.
Surrender, complete surrender, was at my fingertips.
The amount of intense power that I felt was like no other.
God's presence was so heavy, and it was so refreshing.
I couldn't believe so many people were praying with me.
I couldn't believe they all cared so much.
I had this feeling in my gut that it almost happened.
I felt it.
I can still feel the power I felt then a little bit every time I think or talk about it.
It feels so wonderful.
I was just so close that it blows my mind.
Also, every single person who prayed with me that night each said a lot of things, but one thing each person said was the same.
"Let go, and let God."
"Jewell, you have to let go."
"If you let go, it will be so freeing. I promise."
"Just give it to God, Jewell. Just let go, and give it to God."
"You need to let go. Just let God take over."
It keeps echoing in my head.
It's so hard to let go.
But, I want to.
I need to.
I was so stinking close.
It was right in front of me.
All I had to do was let go of myself, and reach out and grab it.
No one was keeping me from it.
Nothing was in the way.
It was just me.
A control freak.
Too scared of change to surrender.
So close...
So.
Close.

Dear God,
First of all, I just love You.
So much.
I just wanna thank You for that experience that I had at the altar on Sunday night.
God, I pray that you would continue to guide me.
Help me to let You use me.
I pray that You would just wrap me in Your arms and tell me that it's all going to be okay.
Thank You so much, God for everything.
I love You.